She chills me when i'm warm
I moderate reactions
Its nice to belong
And not be swayed by false elation
She makes me desire loneliness
And yet i go to meet her
My days punctuated by cold
And my night autumnal deaths
Monday, December 11, 2006
Tentative
Everything's been said
Except for bits of untruth
That linger between us
Despite our fillers
Like specs of dirt
You haven't even told me
Your name
Did We?
Conversations where
We speak about
Things we are not
Actually speaking
About, things we are not
Treading on eggshells
Half leaning in
Half staring out the window
Some need
And some forced ambivalence
The road curves ahead
We say all the right things
And still we go home and cleanse ourselves
Wondering.
Friday, October 20, 2006
We Wanted To Continue
I'm ignited like never before I toss, turn
You wake me up breathing heavily sweating want
A fever on my skin, the blankets melt
Tossed off a light breeze joins our sweat and accentuates the heat
All sounds come muffled, as if from afar
Bodies failing at becoming each other take - he grabs her hair
You wake me up breathing heavily sweating want
A fever on my skin, the blankets melt
Tossed off a light breeze joins our sweat and accentuates the heat
All sounds come muffled, as if from afar
Bodies failing at becoming each other take - he grabs her hair
Dog
Yield at the corner
Bare left over the sidewalk
At length you come to a precipice
Fall off
Trucks will blare horns, keep going
Block traffic
The hill is steep, walk diagonally
Let grills bludgeon you
Leave the road, come to an empty lot
Limp silently, do not disturb the world
Find a warm hood to lean against
Bare left over the sidewalk
At length you come to a precipice
Fall off
Trucks will blare horns, keep going
Block traffic
The hill is steep, walk diagonally
Let grills bludgeon you
Leave the road, come to an empty lot
Limp silently, do not disturb the world
Find a warm hood to lean against
And Now?
Departure days childhood beats torn
Lights are lit fever subsided
Rigamortis
Drum beats death tatoo
A smile, no, a smirk - a thought
Fear dissipates then snaps back
A dip, a trench, a well, no choice
Those old languid thoughts distant
My shadow falls in their direction
Ribs strain, cornea burn, a choke hold
Lights are lit fever subsided
Rigamortis
Drum beats death tatoo
A smile, no, a smirk - a thought
Fear dissipates then snaps back
A dip, a trench, a well, no choice
Those old languid thoughts distant
My shadow falls in their direction
Ribs strain, cornea burn, a choke hold
The Machinery Of Heartbreak
The colors crisp on command
Leaves pulse their veins to the surface
Night lifts up her gauzy skirt
To show us her gyrating ebony thighs
This is the machinery of a heartbreak
We use tenderness as our currency
We also trade skin and breath
Sounds filter in and out
Tinny little tunes over an aged gramophone
We have divine abilities to fête Now
Spoons cap our tongues, curved to the metal
Delight in waning thought, deliberately
Break our own elaborate scheme
This is the machinery of a heartbreak
Twilight dinners rumbling noises distracted
By reminiscence in the melee
A thought reaches a thousand miles
Holding futures hostage - a stolen denoument
This is the machinery of heartbreak
Siphon, no, filter life through cataract eyes
Siphon life through the beloved idea's gut
Gut sovereignty to vacuous delight
Delight through juxtaposed heat - inhale a name
Name this the machinery of heartbreak.
Thrust into mangy memories
Clinging onto a worn skirt
Clamoring for attention
Alone in crowds
Charred
Leaves pulse their veins to the surface
Night lifts up her gauzy skirt
To show us her gyrating ebony thighs
This is the machinery of a heartbreak
We use tenderness as our currency
We also trade skin and breath
Sounds filter in and out
Tinny little tunes over an aged gramophone
We have divine abilities to fête Now
Spoons cap our tongues, curved to the metal
Delight in waning thought, deliberately
Break our own elaborate scheme
This is the machinery of a heartbreak
Twilight dinners rumbling noises distracted
By reminiscence in the melee
A thought reaches a thousand miles
Holding futures hostage - a stolen denoument
This is the machinery of heartbreak
Siphon, no, filter life through cataract eyes
Siphon life through the beloved idea's gut
Gut sovereignty to vacuous delight
Delight through juxtaposed heat - inhale a name
Name this the machinery of heartbreak.
Thrust into mangy memories
Clinging onto a worn skirt
Clamoring for attention
Alone in crowds
Charred
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Creamy
I remember
A night by firelight
Ambling through alleys
Wrestling in pillows
Mumbling till morning comes
I, I am missing you.
No one knows it from my face
No one sees it in my settled pace
My mock-up state - my careless ways..
The world revolves around that night
Marmalade pieces of me and you
Evening salve, tincture for wounds
Mends torn boots with a slow embrace.
City lights drag their colors across a faded bridge
No one meets our eyes, cast away or drawn to playful crests,
Enveloped shade, hidden by moon drawn shadows
I, I am missing you.
No one knows it from my face
No one sees it in my settled pace
My mock-up state - my careless ways..
A night by firelight
Ambling through alleys
Wrestling in pillows
Mumbling till morning comes
Those shadows protect my expression tonight,
A night by firelight
Ambling through alleys
Wrestling in pillows
Mumbling till morning comes
A night by firelight
Ambling through alleys
Wrestling in pillows
Mumbling till morning comes
I, I am missing you.
No one knows it from my face
No one sees it in my settled pace
My mock-up state - my careless ways..
The world revolves around that night
Marmalade pieces of me and you
Evening salve, tincture for wounds
Mends torn boots with a slow embrace.
The noon of evening
Followed by the last stand of the sun
City lights drag their colors across a faded bridge
No one meets our eyes, cast away or drawn to playful crests,
Enveloped shade, hidden by moon drawn shadows
I, I am missing you.
No one knows it from my face
No one sees it in my settled pace
My mock-up state - my careless ways..
A night by firelight
Ambling through alleys
Wrestling in pillows
Mumbling till morning comes
Those shadows protect my expression tonight,
Carbon sky, dark delight, iris of your eye
Seek me out, and mask the day
Wool overcoat, a misty riverboat
City night, tonight, you're sauntering through my mind
Seek me out, and mask the day
Wool overcoat, a misty riverboat
City night, tonight, you're sauntering through my mind
A night by firelight
Ambling through alleys
Wrestling in pillows
Mumbling till morning comes
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Moment Horizon
A slither of water in the distance, interrupted by forested land
Seeps a little into the ground, frozen in places. Crisp green blades jutting out here and there
The grey sky relents to a clearer ivory horizon
Magpies sift through turned over pebbles by a hillock
Roots overgrown swept by moss resent the intrusion
A sound echoes some distance and nuzzles into the cracked bark of a tree
Nature interrupted by lead, sap seeps green through intruding crevices
Sweet trickle, encasing a passing insect, dark fluid hits the soil, sits then sinks
Sap to soil through ivory pebbles, man and nature split by the horizon.
Silence descends, slithers through roots and leaves relax for the night
Seeps a little into the ground, frozen in places. Crisp green blades jutting out here and there
The grey sky relents to a clearer ivory horizon
Magpies sift through turned over pebbles by a hillock
Roots overgrown swept by moss resent the intrusion
A sound echoes some distance and nuzzles into the cracked bark of a tree
Nature interrupted by lead, sap seeps green through intruding crevices
Sweet trickle, encasing a passing insect, dark fluid hits the soil, sits then sinks
Sap to soil through ivory pebbles, man and nature split by the horizon.
Silence descends, slithers through roots and leaves relax for the night
Curtains Between
There were moments that he spent wondering and obsessing over their moments together. What was happening? And then there were moments where things were so simply clear that he chided himself, no scolded himself for having tortured his childlike mind. This night was a simple one the balmy heat cut by chilly drafts from the machine.
He steps into their room shared for so long - unmoved by the time they'd spent - lost as to what had spawned those nestled moments and entangled passions. He looked her over - a dent on the large bed, a curled up hand, one heel on the other legs knee, mid-sprint in deep sleep. His body aroused, his mind numb, animalistic.
He thought she had served his purpose, but turned in his shorts, to look once again. Something soft and soothing creeped up his body. He was looking at someone who during the day is so far, lost to him. Pre-occupation launches them far apart. Just as in sleep. Near but separated by infinity, by rips in time-space.
It was clear then what must be done. And then, moments later it was unclear again. This vacillation had been lodged within him for days. He was a brute now: technical, surgical, specific. But he knew that just as powerful were those times when he was frightened, subdued, in need of care. He buttoned up his shirt, hung his flaccid tie around his neck and headed for the door. Behind him, small movements could be heard on the bed as she slowly swam back to the shallow end of sleep.
He steps into their room shared for so long - unmoved by the time they'd spent - lost as to what had spawned those nestled moments and entangled passions. He looked her over - a dent on the large bed, a curled up hand, one heel on the other legs knee, mid-sprint in deep sleep. His body aroused, his mind numb, animalistic.
He thought she had served his purpose, but turned in his shorts, to look once again. Something soft and soothing creeped up his body. He was looking at someone who during the day is so far, lost to him. Pre-occupation launches them far apart. Just as in sleep. Near but separated by infinity, by rips in time-space.
It was clear then what must be done. And then, moments later it was unclear again. This vacillation had been lodged within him for days. He was a brute now: technical, surgical, specific. But he knew that just as powerful were those times when he was frightened, subdued, in need of care. He buttoned up his shirt, hung his flaccid tie around his neck and headed for the door. Behind him, small movements could be heard on the bed as she slowly swam back to the shallow end of sleep.
Hungry Couplets
Two of us below a make-believe canopy
Tell me a story; we probe each other
That first forbidden thought
Regretted immediately, then erased
Sneering smile easily decoded
Thrusting our fingers into each other
Nurture me, come slowly
Evening medicine; yearning quenched
Morning springs, strings untangle
Sunlight banishes midnight doubts
Delicious day, silent meditation
Blanketed rays, sweet melanoma.
Desire grows, evening awaits
Soft legs, white sheets.
Tell me a story; we probe each other
That first forbidden thought
Regretted immediately, then erased
Sneering smile easily decoded
Thrusting our fingers into each other
Nurture me, come slowly
Evening medicine; yearning quenched
Morning springs, strings untangle
Sunlight banishes midnight doubts
Delicious day, silent meditation
Blanketed rays, sweet melanoma.
Desire grows, evening awaits
Soft legs, white sheets.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Mine
Follow her home
Up the stairs
Sit at her door
Go through her mail
Has she been cheating on you?
Other visitors come and knock
You first saw her in the park
Brown hair, long and loose, tilted up
Her purse; one heel hitting pavement faster than the other
Imperfect girl, eyes a little dull
Shaded by past misfortunes
And tomorrow's anticipation
I follow her to a gravesite on Tuesdays
She crouches, puts a rose to her heart
And lays it before him, devoted
There's probably a poem about him in her nightstand
One of these days I'll get to read it
She steps back, looks down at ther hand and cringes
I follow her home again
I sit on the bench outside as her shadow
Runs routines through the curtain
Her silhouette stirs me:
The slow trun of her torso
The curve of her calves
Familiar design, an understandible figure
I lie down on the bench waiting for sunrise
Date-Night
We've fucked the romance
Out of mini-golf
Hit or miss
The clown opens its pink, fleshy mouth
Her swing no longer hardens me
But a stiffness does appear
In her coldly competitive stare
Where once was a banterous glare
I reach back into my bag of tricks
Pull out my largest stick
Once fun and offbeat
We're now Hollywood fucked jazz
Return
She urinated on him while he slept
It didn't change the smell
In the small room
No, perhaps it was slightly better
It masked the puke and
Thousands of pussies the sheets
Had seen
Semen soaked sheets
Virgin blood sheets
Dried up corsages
Like used up genetalia, under the sink
A bride's veil
Shotgun wedding
Stuffed in the A/C vent
Unrequited Love?
He bought her a beer
And undid his own pants
Little did she know
He just wanted to use the belt
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Tight Strings
Trumpets playing tonight
Masked men enter in silence
And take their seats
Shiny shoes fast eyes
Flitting lashes
Wine drawn sighs
Stratospheric salted
Melodramatic masterpieces
Instruments of pleasure awaiting instructions
Spotlight on me tonight
Men in jackets ask for my number
I toss my hair and laugh
I give them what they want
Strings pluck, vibrate
Aggregate on the top of my head
The dissipate into the open mouthed girl
Masked men enter in silence
And take their seats
Shiny shoes fast eyes
Flitting lashes
Wine drawn sighs
Stratospheric salted
Melodramatic masterpieces
Instruments of pleasure awaiting instructions
Spotlight on me tonight
Men in jackets ask for my number
I toss my hair and laugh
I give them what they want
Strings pluck, vibrate
Aggregate on the top of my head
The dissipate into the open mouthed girl
Amber Dreams
Sitting, straying, silted by the moment
In the hole, dim the lights
Take me home to Papa
Bring me a drink, filled to the top
Pink or white or red, dim the moment for me
Inside, soft velvet tongues
Talk about their day
In a way
That makes me chagrin
For Papa
Take me in, swish me around
But tonight we drink
Amber dreams satisfy me
But yet I dream of Papa
August ends tonight
I'm melancholy for old friends
And little words without meaning
Easy, easy August
Winter's coming, the sky tells me so
Papa, will you stay?
Winter's giving, winter's taking
Effacing buildings here and now
Papa's coming, Papa's going
But I'm just swishing Muscat around
Dearest, dearest where are you?
Lonely little me
Drinks got me
Musics got me
The city's got me in her spell
Come rescue me
Show me the way, Papa
In the hole, dim the lights
Take me home to Papa
Bring me a drink, filled to the top
Pink or white or red, dim the moment for me
Inside, soft velvet tongues
Talk about their day
In a way
That makes me chagrin
For Papa
Take me in, swish me around
But tonight we drink
Amber dreams satisfy me
But yet I dream of Papa
August ends tonight
I'm melancholy for old friends
And little words without meaning
Easy, easy August
Winter's coming, the sky tells me so
Papa, will you stay?
Winter's giving, winter's taking
Effacing buildings here and now
Papa's coming, Papa's going
But I'm just swishing Muscat around
Dearest, dearest where are you?
Lonely little me
Drinks got me
Musics got me
The city's got me in her spell
Come rescue me
Show me the way, Papa
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Cuckold
Little bitch did me in
Cried and lied into my bed
Scratched her back left deep marks
Thrust her limbs into submission
Slammed her down with my hips
Traded blood for a 2 minute fuck
Bent her knees behind her shoulders
A clump of hair in my fist
Cried and lied into my bed
Scratched her back left deep marks
Thrust her limbs into submission
Slammed her down with my hips
Traded blood for a 2 minute fuck
Bent her knees behind her shoulders
A clump of hair in my fist
Monday, September 18, 2006
Rucked In
Hello my sweet crotchety toe
Low, bruising and extremely cold
Fucked fabulous ridgid sheets rucked.
Tender, Torrid, tender, tend her.
Bitch mischievious in every stitch
Delight, pure and silly tonight.
Low, bruising and extremely cold
Fucked fabulous ridgid sheets rucked.
Tender, Torrid, tender, tend her.
Bitch mischievious in every stitch
Delight, pure and silly tonight.
Dance Me
Dip slide swing twist moving in another’s
Arms were made to encircle and swing you
Secure and frail made from glass and gravel
Frail strings plucked and teased into great bold tunes
Embellished with feathers of flutes abreast
And then dimmed by feathery whisps of light
Piccolos. Undimmed nubile sirens still
Moist air curls out towards a nubile thing
Curls away too if she cant swing beyond
Cool night air stirs the bass and the boy, too.
Arms were made to encircle and swing you
Secure and frail made from glass and gravel
Frail strings plucked and teased into great bold tunes
Embellished with feathers of flutes abreast
And then dimmed by feathery whisps of light
Piccolos. Undimmed nubile sirens still
Moist air curls out towards a nubile thing
Curls away too if she cant swing beyond
Cool night air stirs the bass and the boy, too.
A Little Of You & Me
S1. He smells familiar to me
N1. A comfort chaos lent only
S2. A gift unconsciously given
N2. Knowledge of me flitters in her
S3. Settles into the parts of her
N3. Entwined with my soul threaded through
S4. My heart vibrating in my palm
N4. Silent dancing marionette
S5. My mind wanders to late autumn
N5. Strings drawn from dreams leaves twirl and waltz.
N1. A comfort chaos lent only
S2. A gift unconsciously given
N2. Knowledge of me flitters in her
S3. Settles into the parts of her
N3. Entwined with my soul threaded through
S4. My heart vibrating in my palm
N4. Silent dancing marionette
S5. My mind wanders to late autumn
N5. Strings drawn from dreams leaves twirl and waltz.
8 Blistering Thoughts
A breath of her
Stolen surruptitously from her
My self control stolen
I am totally myself
I fall into her
Wondering, Should I fall?
Knowing I will fall
Secretly wanting to know
Stolen surruptitously from her
My self control stolen
I am totally myself
I fall into her
Wondering, Should I fall?
Knowing I will fall
Secretly wanting to know
Saturday, September 16, 2006
How Far Can We Fall?
Light vanished now.
Rickety gate.
Scratched asphalt bare.
Shuffle totter.
I bring my home.
Tremble falter.
Shoe snags on nail.
Tug and topple.
Landed, awkward.
Drag left instep.
Settled for night.
Hunger looms large.
Stiff wind kicks up.
Coke cans rattle.
Jeans soft from wear.
Rain becomes me.
Hair plastered down.
Momma was right,
Should have married that uptight prick and moved into his mansion.
Rickety gate.
Scratched asphalt bare.
Shuffle totter.
I bring my home.
Tremble falter.
Shoe snags on nail.
Tug and topple.
Landed, awkward.
Drag left instep.
Settled for night.
Hunger looms large.
Stiff wind kicks up.
Coke cans rattle.
Jeans soft from wear.
Rain becomes me.
Hair plastered down.
Momma was right,
Should have married that uptight prick and moved into his mansion.
The Object Context
fingers on me
eyes on wall
smells like powder
feels like steel
hair pendulum tickle
time molasses slow
dripping from context
paint, cabinet, door
home is blue
romance is clear
step slide step
twirl and glide
Fun intent and
Hardly any words
Shoulders to shoulders
Eyes do linger
Lips barely touch
A good fit
Step turn step
Window, floor, lamp
Back at ear
Nothing is said
Trip on wire
Steel and steel
You and me
Context then sleep
Shift shift shift
Years, minutes, days
One sock off
One slightly askew
She tugs at
The yellow shade
He comes behind
She catches up
eyes on wall
smells like powder
feels like steel
hair pendulum tickle
time molasses slow
dripping from context
paint, cabinet, door
home is blue
romance is clear
step slide step
twirl and glide
Fun intent and
Hardly any words
Shoulders to shoulders
Eyes do linger
Lips barely touch
A good fit
Step turn step
Window, floor, lamp
Back at ear
Nothing is said
Trip on wire
Steel and steel
You and me
Context then sleep
Shift shift shift
Years, minutes, days
One sock off
One slightly askew
She tugs at
The yellow shade
He comes behind
She catches up
A Seasonal Hour
Skirted day
eyes closed
Blanket drawn
foggy day
Distant traffic
warm embrace
Fireplace
skin on
cotton sheet
i bite
sweet success
gentle rhythm
warm escape
engulfing us
island bed
locked hands
gentle demands
entwined intent
Winter without
arched within
sighs escape
into ears
foggy day
rhythms end
precious slumber
locked hands
blanket world
warm within
season ends
eyes again
distant traffic
lips trace
skirted day
eyes closed
Blanket drawn
foggy day
Distant traffic
warm embrace
Fireplace
skin on
cotton sheet
i bite
sweet success
gentle rhythm
warm escape
engulfing us
island bed
locked hands
gentle demands
entwined intent
Winter without
arched within
sighs escape
into ears
foggy day
rhythms end
precious slumber
locked hands
blanket world
warm within
season ends
eyes again
distant traffic
lips trace
skirted day
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Addicted
Rootless
Torn from you
Dug in and confounded by time away from you.
I put on any coat and walk in the street.
I dont recognize any faces.
Nothing catches my eye.
The steet curves slightly
And rainwater slides off;
Slides off me leaving only my hair wet.
You slide off me.
Why wont you pick up your phone?
You slide into me.
I close my eyes.
When I reach home, i sit on the steps.
You absence makes me wistful.
Why are you having fun without me?
I love the little things about you.
I walk circles in the dark.
I think about the way you smile and curl your lips.
You know where i live
But you don't come here.
Why wont you pick up your fucking phone?
You asshole.
Why am I am so alone?
Why the fuck are you so happy?
I never touched you at all.
I never touched you at all.
I slid right off;
You slid into me.
I never touched you at all.
You held my hand.
You slid off
Into my cracks
And into my blood.
I need you.
Torn from you
Dug in and confounded by time away from you.
I put on any coat and walk in the street.
I dont recognize any faces.
Nothing catches my eye.
The steet curves slightly
And rainwater slides off;
Slides off me leaving only my hair wet.
You slide off me.
Why wont you pick up your phone?
You slide into me.
I close my eyes.
When I reach home, i sit on the steps.
You absence makes me wistful.
Why are you having fun without me?
I love the little things about you.
I walk circles in the dark.
I think about the way you smile and curl your lips.
You know where i live
But you don't come here.
Why wont you pick up your fucking phone?
You asshole.
Why am I am so alone?
Why the fuck are you so happy?
I never touched you at all.
I never touched you at all.
I slid right off;
You slid into me.
I never touched you at all.
You held my hand.
You slid off
Into my cracks
And into my blood.
I need you.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
For Her
The sun's shining dark
Grass stalks bend
And whisper to their neighbors
But the wind drowns out their words
Little girls now tucked inside
Dresses back in trunks
Rosy cheeks and nothing hidden but the futures yet to come
I sit on a stone by a big tree
I smell dirt and grass
I scrape off some bark and put it in my pocket
And feel some nondescript urge
I look up and see faded hills
Over which lies the city, waiting
I succumb to the urge and head up the closest hill
I stand and look down at the metropolis' gritty edge
And I stiffen my body - ready for the roll.
Grass stalks bend
And whisper to their neighbors
But the wind drowns out their words
Little girls now tucked inside
Dresses back in trunks
Rosy cheeks and nothing hidden but the futures yet to come
I sit on a stone by a big tree
I smell dirt and grass
I scrape off some bark and put it in my pocket
And feel some nondescript urge
I look up and see faded hills
Over which lies the city, waiting
I succumb to the urge and head up the closest hill
I stand and look down at the metropolis' gritty edge
And I stiffen my body - ready for the roll.
Smog
Girl: I tried the cafe you recommended, it was very cozy.
Boy: What does the cloud look like?
Girl: Like, a girl with pigtails
Boy: You go there with anyone?
Girl: No. I read a fairytale book. I'm trying to see them from a grown up persepctive.
Boy: I didn't notice you'd grown up.
Girl: While you were staring at the clouds, i got a little old and boring
Girl: what did you pack for lunch?
Boy: Sarcasm
Boy: And sandwiches
Girl: I hope there's some on whole wheat bread
Boy: Priss
Boy: What'd you have at the cafe?
Girl: Did you know that _____ is getting married?
Boy: None of us are above making a mistake now and then.
Girl: i read it in the sunday styles while i had a cafe valencia
Boy: Who's the unlucky guy?
Girl: do you miss her?
Boy: No
Girl: don't lie to me
Boy: I am as surprised as you are.
Girl: i don't really care
Girl: just wondered how you felt
Boy: I like it when you are emotionally indifferent...it makes for good musing.
Boy: It's like being volatile and calm.
Girl: that's because i'm single: i'm bitter and happy all at once
Girl: can you pass me a cup of wine?
Boy: I think your girl with the pig tails is taking it up the arse from the other cloud...of course - I prefer you a bit liquored up.
Girl: this is quite good, I'm glad we stopped at that place
Boy: I wish I knew more about wines but honestly - its too much work and those guys at Vino are quite good. Even if there name is redundant.
Girl: that couple over there, by the tree, seem to be fighting
Girl: should we move our blanket closer?
Girl: so that we can hear?
Boy: Bad girl. He moves the blanket closer
Girl: its better than a movie, also you can't bring reisling to a movie
Boy pokes girls nipple.
Girl: not here!
Boy: Cool - that means I am allowed later!
Girl: Look, we need to stop this
Boy pokes her again.
Girl: i know its really easy, but its gone really far
And again.
She grabs his finger this time. She hides her smile.
Girl: look, as much as i like this. i need to tell u something
He climbs on top of her.
Boy: OK
Girl: so, stop that and try to be serious for once
Boy: Yes ma'm
Girl: its serious
Boy: Ok ok ok...tell me
He doesn't get off
Girl: yesterday, when i couldn't come out with you to dinner, it wasn't because i wasn't feeling well
Boy: ok
Girl: i'm engaged
Boy: What
Girl: if we're serious about this, we need to tell everyone
Boy: Look I'm serious about this but not interested in getting engaged - holy shit.
Girl: but if you're just goig to horse around, like you do all the time, then i guess i'm gone.
Boy: What is it that you want? Really what?
Girl: I can’t do anything about it. There's a lot of pressure, I need to follow through with the committment.
Girl: but you know i have feelings for you
Boy: Is my confusion palpable yet?
Girl: i just don't understand how we can go on like this without evern telling one person!
Girl: Just one!
Girl: what are you afraid of??
Boy: Telling people screws up the relationship. It means that it can't develop without outside pressure
Boy: That's how people get forced into marriage
Boy lies flat on his back and puts his arms behind his head
Girl: look, that type of philosphy was great. But, its been so many months and i'm torn - can't you see that?
Girl: why can't you be more sympathetic?
Boy: I got a simple answer...stop being torn - there's no need.
Girl: you're great with people who don't require anything from you. But if a person actually opens up to you, you just push them away
Boy: What do you want? You want me to say I'm scared? I am. I am scared that I'll love someone and they wont love me. I'm scared I'll open up and they'll use it against me.
Girl: what are you talking about? Here i am saying i love you.
Boy: I feel it. I know you do. But its a feeling. Feelings come and go. And when they go - where will i be?
Girl: we could be engaged.
Boy: And what? What difference does that make?
Girl: i don't understand you. First you say you want less, now you're saying you want more
Boy: I want you. Today ...now...but thats all I know.
Girl: thats a horrible thing to say
Girl: what about our friendship?
Girl: what about this?
Girl: the lunch, your stupid clouds? the wine?
Boy: IT is what it is.
Boy: I am not saying now wont be later as well
Boy: What does the cloud look like?
Girl: Like, a girl with pigtails
Boy: You go there with anyone?
Girl: No. I read a fairytale book. I'm trying to see them from a grown up persepctive.
Boy: I didn't notice you'd grown up.
Girl: While you were staring at the clouds, i got a little old and boring
Girl: what did you pack for lunch?
Boy: Sarcasm
Boy: And sandwiches
Girl: I hope there's some on whole wheat bread
Boy: Priss
Boy: What'd you have at the cafe?
Girl: Did you know that _____ is getting married?
Boy: None of us are above making a mistake now and then.
Girl: i read it in the sunday styles while i had a cafe valencia
Boy: Who's the unlucky guy?
Girl: do you miss her?
Boy: No
Girl: don't lie to me
Boy: I am as surprised as you are.
Girl: i don't really care
Girl: just wondered how you felt
Boy: I like it when you are emotionally indifferent...it makes for good musing.
Boy: It's like being volatile and calm.
Girl: that's because i'm single: i'm bitter and happy all at once
Girl: can you pass me a cup of wine?
Boy: I think your girl with the pig tails is taking it up the arse from the other cloud...of course - I prefer you a bit liquored up.
Girl: this is quite good, I'm glad we stopped at that place
Boy: I wish I knew more about wines but honestly - its too much work and those guys at Vino are quite good. Even if there name is redundant.
Girl: that couple over there, by the tree, seem to be fighting
Girl: should we move our blanket closer?
Girl: so that we can hear?
Boy: Bad girl. He moves the blanket closer
Girl: its better than a movie, also you can't bring reisling to a movie
Boy pokes girls nipple.
Girl: not here!
Boy: Cool - that means I am allowed later!
Girl: Look, we need to stop this
Boy pokes her again.
Girl: i know its really easy, but its gone really far
And again.
She grabs his finger this time. She hides her smile.
Girl: look, as much as i like this. i need to tell u something
He climbs on top of her.
Boy: OK
Girl: so, stop that and try to be serious for once
Boy: Yes ma'm
Girl: its serious
Boy: Ok ok ok...tell me
He doesn't get off
Girl: yesterday, when i couldn't come out with you to dinner, it wasn't because i wasn't feeling well
Boy: ok
Girl: i'm engaged
Boy: What
Girl: if we're serious about this, we need to tell everyone
Boy: Look I'm serious about this but not interested in getting engaged - holy shit.
Girl: but if you're just goig to horse around, like you do all the time, then i guess i'm gone.
Boy: What is it that you want? Really what?
Girl: I can’t do anything about it. There's a lot of pressure, I need to follow through with the committment.
Girl: but you know i have feelings for you
Boy: Is my confusion palpable yet?
Girl: i just don't understand how we can go on like this without evern telling one person!
Girl: Just one!
Girl: what are you afraid of??
Boy: Telling people screws up the relationship. It means that it can't develop without outside pressure
Boy: That's how people get forced into marriage
Boy lies flat on his back and puts his arms behind his head
Girl: look, that type of philosphy was great. But, its been so many months and i'm torn - can't you see that?
Girl: why can't you be more sympathetic?
Boy: I got a simple answer...stop being torn - there's no need.
Girl: you're great with people who don't require anything from you. But if a person actually opens up to you, you just push them away
Boy: What do you want? You want me to say I'm scared? I am. I am scared that I'll love someone and they wont love me. I'm scared I'll open up and they'll use it against me.
Girl: what are you talking about? Here i am saying i love you.
Boy: I feel it. I know you do. But its a feeling. Feelings come and go. And when they go - where will i be?
Girl: we could be engaged.
Boy: And what? What difference does that make?
Girl: i don't understand you. First you say you want less, now you're saying you want more
Boy: I want you. Today ...now...but thats all I know.
Girl: thats a horrible thing to say
Girl: what about our friendship?
Girl: what about this?
Girl: the lunch, your stupid clouds? the wine?
Boy: IT is what it is.
Boy: I am not saying now wont be later as well
Beginnings
Girl: hi, Sid, I'm Ritu
Boy: Would you like something to drink?
Ritu has straight brown hair, medium length. She is wearing a brown jacket and dark jeans.
Girl: Oh, um, sure, that would be nice, thank you. I think I'll have a hot chocolate.
She readjusts the long scarf wrapped around her neck
Boy: Ok. To "Barista" One Tall Hot Chocolate and One Tall Skim Decaf No Foam Latte
He Pays - they stand quietly and wait for the drink. They carry them over to the table.
They sit, hands cupped on their hot drinks. They sit still looking down.
Boy: Do you come here often?
Girl looks up, almost surprised to hear him.
Girl: yes, quite often
Boy: Not exactly an exquisite question. I'm sorry.
Girl: its just a good place to read or...
Boy: Yeah to...
Girl....sit
Boy: Yeah.
They smile, and look down again
Boy: Marvelous.
Girl sighs
Long pause
Boy: I have to be honesst with you.
Girl opens her drink, closes it.
Girl: okay
Boy: No offense. But this was a bit forced. It doesn't have anything to do with you but...I'm not looking.
Girl looks at him for second, then looks down.
Girl: yeah, i know. I know. Its the same for me
Boy: I just got out of something that wasn't exactly healthy.
Girl: i'm not sure i am either. At all, in fact.
Boy: Similar story?
Girl nods
Girl: um...laughs nervously
Boy: Sorry to pry.
Girl: uh, no, um, its ok. I'd rather not say.
Long Pause again, they look down. Girl looks up, sighs hard.
Girl: so, um, what would you be doing, ordinarily. I mean, if you weren't here.
Boy: Recently, I would be sitting at home.
Boy: God that sounds so lame!
Girl laughs a little.
Girl: sorry, no, i understant
Boy: You seem a bit reserved so I'll be the one to make an ass of myself.
Boy: I just got dropped by a girl I had been with for a long time. It was unhealthy but I was used to it.
Girl: look, its ok, you don't have to tell me
Girl: i'll just tell my parents it didn't work out
Boy: She was eventually more a sister than a...sorry this must be irritating - you didn't come here for this.
Boy: I'm sorry.
Long Pause. Both seem irritated.
Girl: No, its...it.
Girl: it must be hard, i'm sure.
Girl: relationships are
Girl: hard
Boy: I am not quite sure they are anything at all. Just a bit of a ruse and a hell of a gamble.
Girl attempts a laugh.
Girl: right, yea. I think so. I hope not
Girl: i hope not
Pause
Boy: I'm being negative...that's for me not you. Really, I hope not too.
Girl: yea, i hope not
They take sips.
Girl: I mean. i like someone, but he isn't.....um...interested back
Boy: Lucky guy.
She shakes her head as if to erase that last comment
Boy: It's nice even to know someone wants you. Doesn't know what he's got.
Girl: Well, he's already got someone, you see.
Girl: so, i'm really just a drag, I suppose
Girl: But...um
Boy: How long have you known you like him?
She tears a little
She smiles, turns her head
Boy: I'm sorry there I go again.
Brushes it away quickly
Girl: sorry, not its my fault
Girl: its totally my fault
Girl: i'm not supposed to like him. He's taken
Boy: Don't say that...we're both losers. He Smiles. Tell me more.
Girl: and he's not....you know....like us. From our....culture.
Boy: That can be hard - but anything can be overcome. Are your parents - sorry...stupid questin.
Boy: Who's the girl?
Girl shakes her head, embarassed.
Girl: she is....takes a deep breath. ..his wife
Boy: Do you know her?
Girl: i know, I know, that sounds terrible
Boy: Look - shit happens.
Girl: yea, but - shit, she's my cousin
Girl: he's the one i want the most, i suppose
Boy: I understand. I don't know what to say.
Girl: so, um, what about you? are you taking time off from, women?
She laughs a little.
Boy: Not for men...but yes. I dont know - I really am wondering whether I want the hole nine yards.
Girl: yea, i know what you mean. If i got married - ever, i'd be worried about girls like me, taking my husband away...
Boy: Thats not what I mean.
Girl: i know.
she smiles at him
they are both leaning on the table now
Boy: I want a relationship...but I want it to go slow and I dont want there to be this implication that just because I chose the relationship I want marriage.
Girl: I don't know what i want, really. It defies any explanation...i wish i could tell you, but i can't. I just don't know.
Girl: i'm so tired.
Boy: Don't do that.
Boy: I'm sorry that was too forward.
Girl looks down. Looks up at him, tilts her head to the side...
Girl: no, go on
Girl: please
Boy: You're just hurting yourself. You are tired only because you feel like there is a wall. Thats how I was for a long time.
Girl: i just. I want him, and I can't have him.
Boy: But there isn't really a wall. There's just this thing that tells you that this is the final decision of your life. It isn't and he isn't the be all and end all.
Boy: I had years with one person. With one girl...am I gone? Am I ended?
Girl looks directly at him
Girl quietly Girl: i don't know
Girl: no
Boy: Sorry - look at me - its like I am using you for therapy.
Girl: no, you’re not
Girl: i'm not much better
They both smile at each other
They both laugh
Girl: what a disaster.
Boy: We'll see.
Girl: so, there's a good italian place, down the street.
Girl: great gnocci
Boy: Why not...
Girl: do you like Gnocchi?
Girl: are you even hungry?
Boy: Yes... but only in red sauce...
Boy: I could eat.
Girl: ok, thats good enough for me. let's go.
They get up and leave the café
Boy: Would you like something to drink?
Ritu has straight brown hair, medium length. She is wearing a brown jacket and dark jeans.
Girl: Oh, um, sure, that would be nice, thank you. I think I'll have a hot chocolate.
She readjusts the long scarf wrapped around her neck
Boy: Ok. To "Barista" One Tall Hot Chocolate and One Tall Skim Decaf No Foam Latte
He Pays - they stand quietly and wait for the drink. They carry them over to the table.
They sit, hands cupped on their hot drinks. They sit still looking down.
Boy: Do you come here often?
Girl looks up, almost surprised to hear him.
Girl: yes, quite often
Boy: Not exactly an exquisite question. I'm sorry.
Girl: its just a good place to read or...
Boy: Yeah to...
Girl....sit
Boy: Yeah.
They smile, and look down again
Boy: Marvelous.
Girl sighs
Long pause
Boy: I have to be honesst with you.
Girl opens her drink, closes it.
Girl: okay
Boy: No offense. But this was a bit forced. It doesn't have anything to do with you but...I'm not looking.
Girl looks at him for second, then looks down.
Girl: yeah, i know. I know. Its the same for me
Boy: I just got out of something that wasn't exactly healthy.
Girl: i'm not sure i am either. At all, in fact.
Boy: Similar story?
Girl nods
Girl: um...laughs nervously
Boy: Sorry to pry.
Girl: uh, no, um, its ok. I'd rather not say.
Long Pause again, they look down. Girl looks up, sighs hard.
Girl: so, um, what would you be doing, ordinarily. I mean, if you weren't here.
Boy: Recently, I would be sitting at home.
Boy: God that sounds so lame!
Girl laughs a little.
Girl: sorry, no, i understant
Boy: You seem a bit reserved so I'll be the one to make an ass of myself.
Boy: I just got dropped by a girl I had been with for a long time. It was unhealthy but I was used to it.
Girl: look, its ok, you don't have to tell me
Girl: i'll just tell my parents it didn't work out
Boy: She was eventually more a sister than a...sorry this must be irritating - you didn't come here for this.
Boy: I'm sorry.
Long Pause. Both seem irritated.
Girl: No, its...it.
Girl: it must be hard, i'm sure.
Girl: relationships are
Girl: hard
Boy: I am not quite sure they are anything at all. Just a bit of a ruse and a hell of a gamble.
Girl attempts a laugh.
Girl: right, yea. I think so. I hope not
Girl: i hope not
Pause
Boy: I'm being negative...that's for me not you. Really, I hope not too.
Girl: yea, i hope not
They take sips.
Girl: I mean. i like someone, but he isn't.....um...interested back
Boy: Lucky guy.
She shakes her head as if to erase that last comment
Boy: It's nice even to know someone wants you. Doesn't know what he's got.
Girl: Well, he's already got someone, you see.
Girl: so, i'm really just a drag, I suppose
Girl: But...um
Boy: How long have you known you like him?
She tears a little
She smiles, turns her head
Boy: I'm sorry there I go again.
Brushes it away quickly
Girl: sorry, not its my fault
Girl: its totally my fault
Girl: i'm not supposed to like him. He's taken
Boy: Don't say that...we're both losers. He Smiles. Tell me more.
Girl: and he's not....you know....like us. From our....culture.
Boy: That can be hard - but anything can be overcome. Are your parents - sorry...stupid questin.
Boy: Who's the girl?
Girl shakes her head, embarassed.
Girl: she is....takes a deep breath. ..his wife
Boy: Do you know her?
Girl: i know, I know, that sounds terrible
Boy: Look - shit happens.
Girl: yea, but - shit, she's my cousin
Girl: he's the one i want the most, i suppose
Boy: I understand. I don't know what to say.
Girl: so, um, what about you? are you taking time off from, women?
She laughs a little.
Boy: Not for men...but yes. I dont know - I really am wondering whether I want the hole nine yards.
Girl: yea, i know what you mean. If i got married - ever, i'd be worried about girls like me, taking my husband away...
Boy: Thats not what I mean.
Girl: i know.
she smiles at him
they are both leaning on the table now
Boy: I want a relationship...but I want it to go slow and I dont want there to be this implication that just because I chose the relationship I want marriage.
Girl: I don't know what i want, really. It defies any explanation...i wish i could tell you, but i can't. I just don't know.
Girl: i'm so tired.
Boy: Don't do that.
Boy: I'm sorry that was too forward.
Girl looks down. Looks up at him, tilts her head to the side...
Girl: no, go on
Girl: please
Boy: You're just hurting yourself. You are tired only because you feel like there is a wall. Thats how I was for a long time.
Girl: i just. I want him, and I can't have him.
Boy: But there isn't really a wall. There's just this thing that tells you that this is the final decision of your life. It isn't and he isn't the be all and end all.
Boy: I had years with one person. With one girl...am I gone? Am I ended?
Girl looks directly at him
Girl quietly Girl: i don't know
Girl: no
Boy: Sorry - look at me - its like I am using you for therapy.
Girl: no, you’re not
Girl: i'm not much better
They both smile at each other
They both laugh
Girl: what a disaster.
Boy: We'll see.
Girl: so, there's a good italian place, down the street.
Girl: great gnocci
Boy: Why not...
Girl: do you like Gnocchi?
Girl: are you even hungry?
Boy: Yes... but only in red sauce...
Boy: I could eat.
Girl: ok, thats good enough for me. let's go.
They get up and leave the café
Saturday, September 09, 2006
The First Meeting Of Mr. & Mrs. Nitin Pranjal
Starbucks in Scarsdale. 6:15 pm, Sunday night.
<<>>
GIRL>>> Hi, how are you? She half gets up then sits back down.
BOY>>> Fine. These meeting are wierd. Boy sips coffee.
GIRL>>> They're ok.
BOY>>> What's that you're wearing?
GIRL>>> um, its a pro-life button
BOY>>> I believe in life too.
GIRL>>> no, thats not what it means
BOY>>> I know, I know - life - go for it.
GIRL>>> Yea. Pause. So, um, what did you do this weekend?
BOY>>> Its saturday.
GIRL>>> giggles um its sunday
BOY>>> Oh...ummm...I was at my grandmothers house yesterday...what did you do?
GIRL>>> i went shopping. with my mom, for some, um, shoes for graduation
BOY>>> Do you shop a lot?
GIRL>>> yea, i like it, its really fun. its a good way to relax after studying or just chill with friends. we have a really nice mall near our house. its really big so its a good place to go
BOY>>> I like to dance.
GIRL>>> oh, like ballroom?
BOY>>> No, at discoteques.
BOY>>> Do you like to dance?
GIRL>>> Um, I've learned some traditional dance? You know what i mean? and i used to be into it in middle school, but not now anymore. What are discoteques like?
BOY>>> They are fun, a lot of music and lot of peoples. We all go out. What is your favorite song?
GIRL>>> Unbreak My Heart. Its by Toni Braxton
GIRL>>> Do you listen to R & B?
BOY>>> I like staying alive. What is R&B - is it a place to eat?
GIRL>>> no, R AND B. It like soft music, like love songs and so on
BOY>>> Oh...yes I like chaaiya chaaiya.
GIRL>>> Oh my god, my friend loves that one!
GIRL>>> it has a good beat
BOY>>> Is she pretty?
GIRL>>> um she is thrown off. choosed to ignore him.
GIRL>>> what?
BOY>>> recovering What is your name? I forgot to ask. Mine is Nitin.
GIRL>>> Oh. Giggles. Hi Nitin. My name is Umisha.
BOY>>> Hi Amisha. It's good to greet you.
GIRL>>> its Umisha, acctually.
GIRL>>> it has a U in the front
BOY>>> Amisha...yes.
GIRL>>> like an umbrella
BOY>>> Ohhh Uhhmisha
GIRL>>> you got it!
BOY>>> Good name. Homely.
GIRL>>> my grandmother thought of it once in a dream
BOY>>> Does your grandmother like dreaming?
GIRL>>> and she told my mother, but my mother was sure it would be a boy
GIRL>>> amd then she passed away.
GIRL>>> so my mother was forced to call me Umisha
GIRL>>> even though she didn't really want to
BOY>>> Your dead grandmother gave you a boy's name?
GIRL>>> what?
BOY>>> Nothing...is the coffee sweet?
GIRL>>> yea, i got a chocolate mocha. i love chocolate
GIRL>>> what did you get?
BOY>>> I got almond steamed milk. I like almonds. Did you know that gangrene smells of almonds?
GIRL>>> wait, what is gang green?
GIRL>>> so, is this strange? i mean, do you meet a lot of people?
BOY>>> Well when people don't treat an infection properly a form of rot develops on the skin that degenerates the cells and begins to spread. This makes it necessary to...Yes, I have met many girls - because my family is rich.
GIRL>>> oh, right, what does your dad do again?
GIRL>>> i heard about it, but i forgot
GIRL>>> soooo...
BOY>>> He is in pharmaceuticals. He makes products for people with constipation.
BOY>>> If you need - I can send you some for free.
GIRL>>> so, is that hard, meeting lots of people?
BOY>>> Yes. I want t oget married now. I am getting old.
BOY>>> Have you done this before?
GIRL>>> yea i do. but its the same for me. I graduate in about one month.
Parents walk in...both sigh.
GIRL>>> Hi Ami
GIRL>>> Hi baba
BOY>>> Pranam Ji - kaise hai
Father: Kya aap tikh hai na - tayar hai nikalne ke liye
BOY>>> Ji papa
GIRL>>> so, i think its time to go, we have a mehendi to go to, one of my cousins is getting married.
BOY>>> Enjoy the mehendi, whispering: hehehehe
GIRL>>> bye Aunti Rima, Bye Uncle!
GIRL>>>bye Nimal
BOY>>> bye Auntiji, bye Uncleji
<<
GIRL>>> Hi, how are you? She half gets up then sits back down.
BOY>>> Fine. These meeting are wierd. Boy sips coffee.
GIRL>>> They're ok.
BOY>>> What's that you're wearing?
GIRL>>> um, its a pro-life button
BOY>>> I believe in life too.
GIRL>>> no, thats not what it means
BOY>>> I know, I know - life - go for it.
GIRL>>> Yea. Pause. So, um, what did you do this weekend?
BOY>>> Its saturday.
GIRL>>> giggles um its sunday
BOY>>> Oh...ummm...I was at my grandmothers house yesterday...what did you do?
GIRL>>> i went shopping. with my mom, for some, um, shoes for graduation
BOY>>> Do you shop a lot?
GIRL>>> yea, i like it, its really fun. its a good way to relax after studying or just chill with friends. we have a really nice mall near our house. its really big so its a good place to go
BOY>>> I like to dance.
GIRL>>> oh, like ballroom?
BOY>>> No, at discoteques.
BOY>>> Do you like to dance?
GIRL>>> Um, I've learned some traditional dance? You know what i mean? and i used to be into it in middle school, but not now anymore. What are discoteques like?
BOY>>> They are fun, a lot of music and lot of peoples. We all go out. What is your favorite song?
GIRL>>> Unbreak My Heart. Its by Toni Braxton
GIRL>>> Do you listen to R & B?
BOY>>> I like staying alive. What is R&B - is it a place to eat?
GIRL>>> no, R AND B. It like soft music, like love songs and so on
BOY>>> Oh...yes I like chaaiya chaaiya.
GIRL>>> Oh my god, my friend loves that one!
GIRL>>> it has a good beat
BOY>>> Is she pretty?
GIRL>>> um she is thrown off. choosed to ignore him.
GIRL>>> what?
BOY>>> recovering What is your name? I forgot to ask. Mine is Nitin.
GIRL>>> Oh. Giggles. Hi Nitin. My name is Umisha.
BOY>>> Hi Amisha. It's good to greet you.
GIRL>>> its Umisha, acctually.
GIRL>>> it has a U in the front
BOY>>> Amisha...yes.
GIRL>>> like an umbrella
BOY>>> Ohhh Uhhmisha
GIRL>>> you got it!
BOY>>> Good name. Homely.
GIRL>>> my grandmother thought of it once in a dream
BOY>>> Does your grandmother like dreaming?
GIRL>>> and she told my mother, but my mother was sure it would be a boy
GIRL>>> amd then she passed away.
GIRL>>> so my mother was forced to call me Umisha
GIRL>>> even though she didn't really want to
BOY>>> Your dead grandmother gave you a boy's name?
GIRL>>> what?
BOY>>> Nothing...is the coffee sweet?
GIRL>>> yea, i got a chocolate mocha. i love chocolate
GIRL>>> what did you get?
BOY>>> I got almond steamed milk. I like almonds. Did you know that gangrene smells of almonds?
GIRL>>> wait, what is gang green?
GIRL>>> so, is this strange? i mean, do you meet a lot of people?
BOY>>> Well when people don't treat an infection properly a form of rot develops on the skin that degenerates the cells and begins to spread. This makes it necessary to...Yes, I have met many girls - because my family is rich.
GIRL>>> oh, right, what does your dad do again?
GIRL>>> i heard about it, but i forgot
GIRL>>> soooo...
BOY>>> He is in pharmaceuticals. He makes products for people with constipation.
BOY>>> If you need - I can send you some for free.
GIRL>>> so, is that hard, meeting lots of people?
BOY>>> Yes. I want t oget married now. I am getting old.
BOY>>> Have you done this before?
GIRL>>> yea i do. but its the same for me. I graduate in about one month.
Parents walk in...both sigh.
GIRL>>> Hi Ami
GIRL>>> Hi baba
BOY>>> Pranam Ji - kaise hai
Father: Kya aap tikh hai na - tayar hai nikalne ke liye
BOY>>> Ji papa
GIRL>>> so, i think its time to go, we have a mehendi to go to, one of my cousins is getting married.
BOY>>> Enjoy the mehendi, whispering: hehehehe
GIRL>>> bye Aunti Rima, Bye Uncle!
GIRL>>>bye Nimal
BOY>>> bye Auntiji, bye Uncleji
Fade
He shuffled forward tentatively - his feet tied to the ground by the pit of his stomach. The screen door slammed behind him and the musty smell of the cabin slowly retreated replaced by the din of crickets and the misty night air thick with the loneliness of autumn. In the bushes, a small animal was rustling the leaves. And over above the rooftop a full corn moon hung round and yellow in the charcoal, starless night. He could hear her inside, gathering up the plates, her shadow lightly silhouetted in the small picture frame window.He looked beyond the trees and the moon and saw them sitting opposite each other in a field. Knees touching - she with her fingers pointing towards him, palms down thumbs lined up alongside each other - and his hands, palms facing upward carrying the weight of those small smooth fingers; his thumbs tracing the knuckles and the nails, his fingers underneath cradling hers with excessive care. That Spring had felt like eternity, warm and full of hope. It was only two years ago that he had proposed but now that seemed so far away, almost like a dream from a different life. Who can trace the convoluted path that time drags you across? He looked back again: she was almost done, the clanging of dishes stopped. He could spy the soft curving of her neck and the slow rise of her breasts. In some way, he was to blame, but he always thought they would endure. He shoved his hands in his pockets. It was getting cooler now, winter was near. He strolled around the porch to get warm - but finally gave in and ambled back into the house. She was standing at the sink with her arms extended.
Tears streaked her face and had made a small but noticeable puddle. He stepped up beside her - his hip against the siding and put his hand on hers. She pulled her hand away quickly and wiped her eyes. Slowly, she turned to face him. It was the same face, the same short brown hair. He couldn't resist - he leaned in and rested his head on her shoulder. As if replaying a scene they had rehearsed a million times, she encircled his waist with her thin arms.
He twisted his neck slightly and pressed his lips behind her ear breathing out the day. He straightened. His hands he folded behind her back enveloping her. She started sobbing, wetting his shirt with her lovely tears. Gently, but deliberately she put both her hands on his chest and pushed him away. They looked at each other for a second - she was out of his life now; now she belonged to someone else, and he could not do anything to change her mind.
As she stepped away, and turned - a military turn, the kind that comes from years of venom, he felt his past and his future being ripped from him. He had so often thought how wonderful it would be to be free again - to be alone for once. Yet, there was nothing of that. There was also no anger. No hate...
But something was left undone. He could not put his finger on it. He went into the next room after her. The worn out unvarnished wood floor buckled slightly under his feet. They had both bought the cabin after she had fallen in love with it on a skiing trip. Now, he stopped in the doorway and smelled the sweet pine air waft in and out of his nostrils. Now, what was to come of it? Surely, he should ask her that. It was the place they came to escape, to make love, to celebrate birthdays. Surely, she woundn't want to sell it. He walked into the bedroom, slightly excited by his confidence.
She was changing. The sight of her naked shocked him. He turned and apologized. And just then it struck him. A shovel to the back. He dropped to his knees. She was no longer a woman. She had been soiled. He heard her footsteps in heels he had no doubt gotten her as a gift, first from behind, and then trailing away as a bag dragged behind her knocking something from a table that she didn't turn around to pick up. The spring door came crashing closed and the chevy gurgled and revved.
A bolt of electric pain shot up his spine. He groaned and flailed his arms. His forehead rested on the floor, heavy. His mind was scrambled. Where did she go? He thought he could see, out of the slit of his drooping eyes, the taillights red, glowing, rushing away from him. A hellish semaphor...She was probably headed to her lovers house.
Perfect
I tell her to close her eyes as she lies down. She does. I looked at her for a moment, her eyelids fluttered slightly as she searched for me with her hands. I pursed my lips and crept up on her left side and blew cold air up the curve of her neck. She responded to me then, arched her back and pulled my hips towards her. I resisted keeping myself softly up against her just touching but not against each other while i traced my lips from her left collar bone across to the end of her right. I felt her tense up, I knew she wanted to wrap her legs around me, I knew she was biting her own lip to keep from biting me. I laid her arms over her head and held them down my thumbs under her elbows and my elbows against the sides of her chest, our stomachs sliding against each other but my waist still arched away - my knees bent against the sides of her thighs she squirmed under me. As if she were not a woman but a live creature, anxious, highly aware. Her mouth was open now, she was panting lightly;
I slid my knees together - suddenly closing her thighs - pulling away further and slid my arms beneath her arched back my fingers bent over her shoulders coming from behind, i kiss her in the center of her neck. Her open lips closed for a moment as she smiled softly. She opened her eyes a little and looked straight at me. She brought her hands down and cradled my head, bringing it momentarily to her chest, to rest. She rubbed her palms upwards from my back to my head, running her fingers through my hair and pulling slightly until i lifted my head and met her lips. I take her bottom lip into my mouth, pulling it and sucking lightly while i move my right hand under her neck, lifting her head to me my fingers threaded in her hair. I move my left hand - covering completely the center of her small back. She seals her mouth over mine and slips in her tongue, at first lightly then she opens her mouth wider and lifts her head up as I pull away from her. We both sit up, momentarily. I take her head in both my hands and pull her into my lap. She tries to pull me into her but i slide underneath. I wrap my arms around her and play with her tongue as she grinds herself against my hips wrapping her legs around me. Her breasts small and sensuous against my chest. I tighten my fingers around her hair. She arches her back and digs her heels behind my knees. I fall back. She remains sitting on my waist, and runs her palms down her chest, over her breasts. A small sigh escapes from her. She leans over me, resting on her hands, the tips of her hair caressing my face. She presses herself against me. I am losing my control and my teasing her seems to fall into her teasing me. I close my eyes and enjoy the her hair sliding across my nipples. I feel her calves against the sides of my waist. She sits on me smiling victoriously. I slip a leg behind hers and flip her over, anchoring her down again. Her smile becomes curiosity again, and excitement. She hooks her legs behind hime. Before she can squirm again I grab her hair and pull back. I slide down the center of her chest and past her stomach and caress the inside of her thighs. She fights me for control. She pulls me so we are lying on our sides facing one another and guides my hand higher up her thigh. I can't resist any longer
but I fight the urge and move my face up the center of her thighs, lifting her legs over my shoulders. I bury my face in her - kissing her and pulling her button into my mouth darting my tongue against it first slowly and then more aggressively.
She relaxes completely and falls back, her eyes squeezed shut and her hands run over her body. I enjoy myself making her writhe with her thighs pressed against my cheeks. Just when she begins shivering slightly I run my tongue slowly up and down and take a deep breath in enjoying her scent. I look up at her a moment. time slows down a bit. Our initial energies faded slightly and we fall into a slower rhythm. I slide into her and close my eyes feeling her against me and knowing we are perfectly close. I wrap my arms around her holding her for dear life. She pushes her hips up and lets me into her. I stop for a moment and feel her warmth. She wraps her arms and legs around me and I pull her on top of me. She sits on me and looks at me while she puts her hands on my chest - intermittently arching her back and thrusting her hips forward and pushing against me and sliding back - I put my hands on her chest...and she cups her hands over mine holding her breasts. I slide my hands down her sides grabbing her where she meets me ... I push upwards lifting her off the bed.
I sit up and pull her towards me again. I feel her moisture on me, but for a moment i look into her eyes lean in to kiss her, softly.
I put my hands on her ass grabbing and pulling hard kissing her more intensely now
She gasps, and groans a little. She is whispering something now. I touch her with my hands. Wait, she says. I am surprised by the sound of her voice. Wait.
Yes baby - tell me...I say as I take her earlobe into my mouth
Stop, she says.
OK
I stop
I want to try something else
Ok tell me
I'm not sure what it is
I'm used to this, I want something different
turn around
lets lean against the headboard
No, thats not what i mean
i know
just come with me
where are we going?
why are we going downstairs?
we're going out
without clothes?
grab something quick
she puts on a grey sweatshirt and he throws on some jeans
i'm taking you to a jazz club
grab a skirt
Baby?
yes
I love you, she says
i love you
and embraces him
he does the same
come come lets go
ok
they reach the jazz club and find a corner to sit in
the first set starts
he takes her hand and pulls her off the couch
the slow jazz sways with them
they slowdance, her head in buried in his neck
he kisses her neck over and over again
the breathes in deeply, they dance slower, barely moving
eyes clothes
eyes closed
moments turn into minutes and minutes turn into hours
as they drive back home, silent in the car, the first rays of the pink sun make their way across the sky
when they reach their bed the strip down and fall asleep entangled him inside her
their fingers tightly interlocked.
her hair draped around his face
and a soft tune playing quietly over the stereo
I tell her to close her eyes as she lies down. She does. I looked at her for a moment, her eyelids fluttered slightly as she searched for me with her hands. I pursed my lips and crept up on her left side and blew cold air up the curve of her neck. She responded to me then, arched her back and pulled my hips towards her. I resisted keeping myself softly up against her just touching but not against each other while i traced my lips from her left collar bone across to the end of her right. I felt her tense up, I knew she wanted to wrap her legs around me, I knew she was biting her own lip to keep from biting me. I laid her arms over her head and held them down my thumbs under her elbows and my elbows against the sides of her chest, our stomachs sliding against each other but my waist still arched away - my knees bent against the sides of her thighs she squirmed under me. As if she were not a woman but a live creature, anxious, highly aware. Her mouth was open now, she was panting lightly;
I slid my knees together - suddenly closing her thighs - pulling away further and slid my arms beneath her arched back my fingers bent over her shoulders coming from behind, i kiss her in the center of her neck. Her open lips closed for a moment as she smiled softly. She opened her eyes a little and looked straight at me. She brought her hands down and cradled my head, bringing it momentarily to her chest, to rest. She rubbed her palms upwards from my back to my head, running her fingers through my hair and pulling slightly until i lifted my head and met her lips. I take her bottom lip into my mouth, pulling it and sucking lightly while i move my right hand under her neck, lifting her head to me my fingers threaded in her hair. I move my left hand - covering completely the center of her small back. She seals her mouth over mine and slips in her tongue, at first lightly then she opens her mouth wider and lifts her head up as I pull away from her. We both sit up, momentarily. I take her head in both my hands and pull her into my lap. She tries to pull me into her but i slide underneath. I wrap my arms around her and play with her tongue as she grinds herself against my hips wrapping her legs around me. Her breasts small and sensuous against my chest. I tighten my fingers around her hair. She arches her back and digs her heels behind my knees. I fall back. She remains sitting on my waist, and runs her palms down her chest, over her breasts. A small sigh escapes from her. She leans over me, resting on her hands, the tips of her hair caressing my face. She presses herself against me. I am losing my control and my teasing her seems to fall into her teasing me. I close my eyes and enjoy the her hair sliding across my nipples. I feel her calves against the sides of my waist. She sits on me smiling victoriously. I slip a leg behind hers and flip her over, anchoring her down again. Her smile becomes curiosity again, and excitement. She hooks her legs behind hime. Before she can squirm again I grab her hair and pull back. I slide down the center of her chest and past her stomach and caress the inside of her thighs. She fights me for control. She pulls me so we are lying on our sides facing one another and guides my hand higher up her thigh. I can't resist any longer
but I fight the urge and move my face up the center of her thighs, lifting her legs over my shoulders. I bury my face in her - kissing her and pulling her button into my mouth darting my tongue against it first slowly and then more aggressively.
She relaxes completely and falls back, her eyes squeezed shut and her hands run over her body. I enjoy myself making her writhe with her thighs pressed against my cheeks. Just when she begins shivering slightly I run my tongue slowly up and down and take a deep breath in enjoying her scent. I look up at her a moment. time slows down a bit. Our initial energies faded slightly and we fall into a slower rhythm. I slide into her and close my eyes feeling her against me and knowing we are perfectly close. I wrap my arms around her holding her for dear life. She pushes her hips up and lets me into her. I stop for a moment and feel her warmth. She wraps her arms and legs around me and I pull her on top of me. She sits on me and looks at me while she puts her hands on my chest - intermittently arching her back and thrusting her hips forward and pushing against me and sliding back - I put my hands on her chest...and she cups her hands over mine holding her breasts. I slide my hands down her sides grabbing her where she meets me ... I push upwards lifting her off the bed.
I sit up and pull her towards me again. I feel her moisture on me, but for a moment i look into her eyes lean in to kiss her, softly.
I put my hands on her ass grabbing and pulling hard kissing her more intensely now
She gasps, and groans a little. She is whispering something now. I touch her with my hands. Wait, she says. I am surprised by the sound of her voice. Wait.
Yes baby - tell me...I say as I take her earlobe into my mouth
Stop, she says.
OK
I stop
I want to try something else
Ok tell me
I'm not sure what it is
I'm used to this, I want something different
turn around
lets lean against the headboard
No, thats not what i mean
i know
just come with me
where are we going?
why are we going downstairs?
we're going out
without clothes?
grab something quick
she puts on a grey sweatshirt and he throws on some jeans
i'm taking you to a jazz club
grab a skirt
Baby?
yes
I love you, she says
i love you
and embraces him
he does the same
come come lets go
ok
they reach the jazz club and find a corner to sit in
the first set starts
he takes her hand and pulls her off the couch
the slow jazz sways with them
they slowdance, her head in buried in his neck
he kisses her neck over and over again
the breathes in deeply, they dance slower, barely moving
eyes clothes
eyes closed
moments turn into minutes and minutes turn into hours
as they drive back home, silent in the car, the first rays of the pink sun make their way across the sky
when they reach their bed the strip down and fall asleep entangled him inside her
their fingers tightly interlocked.
her hair draped around his face
and a soft tune playing quietly over the stereo
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